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Check out supermarket sweep - it's a scream!

Maurice O'Brien • Published 12 May 2012 09:30 Print Comments 3 Comments

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THE return of a prodigal son to Reading's Labour frontline wasn't just a cause for party celebrations but it also surely heralds a new era in political integrity.

To see such a key figure so openly proclaiming where he does his weekly shop, not only in election literature but on the Reading Borough Council ballot paper too, warmed the democratic cockles. There it was, proudly endorsed, Tony Jones (Lab-Co-op).

Only our boy from the valleys knows how many times he had to try saying, 'good with food' in a Scottish accent whenever he popped in for a bag of spuds, but in all modesty he's probably happy to point to an earlier publicity slogan that used to declare: "It's all at the Co-op!" Bet the others are wondering how things might have turned out come dawn last Friday had Dave Luckett (Con-Morrisons) or Kirsten Bayes (Lib Dem-Waitrose) been on the ballot forms, or indeed had the UKIP candidates bracketed their party affiliations with British Airways, Gas or Home Stores. But just how much more honest would it make our MPs if, rather than devising ever more arcane ways of bamboozling the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority, they had to list the places they spend our money on their tellies, sandwich toasters, wine coolers and mortgages? We could then see at a glance if Fred Sniperbucket (Lab-Harrods-Fortnum & Mason-Savoy-Halifax) was better value for money than Everard Duckworth-Lewis (Con-Asda-Iceland-Travelodge-Nationwide).

The political establishment won't need any more evidence of the need for a credibility boost after the Apathetic Tendency stayed at home in force last week (not me guv, West Berkshire didn't bother us this time) in the latest triumph for none of the above. The choice must have been a bit like Saturday's FA Cup Final - if only both teams could have lost! Now, albeit the House of Commons only sat 98 days last year and will manage even fewer this time around, we've got to cough up £300,000 to buy each of the unwashed an iPad, presumably to prevent them getting bored when all those debate thingies are happening. Engineers, carpenters and plumbers have to buy their own tools, so why on earth shouldn't that rule apply to unskilled trades as well?

AS FOR Edvard Munch's The Scream, apart from the fact that it's not even unique because there are four versions knocking about, for someone to spend 74 million quid on what's at best a grotesque doodle is truly hysterical. Obscenely so.

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