Taxpayer-funded designer handbags at dawn

Maurice O'Brien • Published 11 Mar 2010 09:00 Comments 1 Comment

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THE nearer we get to the end of the phoney war and the commencement of genuine electoral hostilities so the stench of hypocrisy intensifies.

But if I were the great unwashed I'd be striving pretty hard for a multilateral agreement to bury the question of Lord Ashcroft's purchase of the Conservative Party under the nearest piece of expensive, taxpayer-funded shag pile.

Certainly Boy Dave and his sidekick, Billy 'Haig not Vague', must feel a proper pair of chumps now it transpires they'd apparently never even asked whether his Lordship had done us the courtesy of paying his taxes in Britain. For pity's sake, he's on their side. What happens when they run into some rotter out to do them mischief?

At the same time, were I one of the other lot I wouldn't keep harping on about his Lordship either. He may be living proof that money can buy you influence in politics, but the rest of the reptiles should remember we all know it can also buy you homes, widescreen tellies, porn movies, duck islands, dry rot repairs, luxury bedding and breakfast cereal.

Just like Lord Ashcroft's interpretation of the taxation system, it's all theoretically legal. Thus, every time I hear some Labour or Lib Dem smart alick on the Ashcroft saga, I reach for my copy of the Daily Telegraph's Complete Expenses Files and the words throw, stones and glasshouses instantly come to mind.

As recently as Sunday the saintly Harriet Harperson was stricken by Cameronian non-inquisitiveness when she maintained she didn't know whether Labour's biggest donors were non-doms, because people's tax affairs were "a private matter". Unless, presumably, your name's Ashcroft.

Currently sitting morally upright in the saddle of this particular high horse, is Lord Mandy of murky mortgage dealings infamy. Now, remind me, how many times did he resign from the Government?

Meanwhile, if Storming Gordon coughed up to equip the armed forces, but the defence chiefs never saw the colour of his money, then who nicked it?

- FROM the 'I wish I'd said that' department comes this gem from outspoken Irish Judge John Neilan, during a case at Mullingar District Court in County Westmeath last week in which a bemused couple were accused by ACC - incidentally the first commercial bank set up under the Irish Free State in 1922 - of defaulting on a car loan.

Judge Neilan observed: "The geniuses running the banks are no different to the geniuses who ran us into the ground in the first place. I would sooner lie in the gutter with a pig." Quite.

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Oranjepan
Unregistered User
Mar 20, 10:49
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Given that Ashcroft was apparently registered as living in Maidenhead when all this was going on I would've expected some of the local media to use their powers to dig into this national story, but no, there's obviously nothing to see here.

I'd also like to ask what evidence do you have that Ashcroft isn't a rotter out to do more than just feather his own nest?

According to a number of articles available he may actually be responsible for far worse than simple mischief. Which would put him in a completely different category altogether and completely nullify your argument that all are equally bad.

A responsible journalist would at least have a reliable opinion.

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