Young carers: 'My friends don't ask me about it'

Published 11 Jun 2009 08:30 0 Comments

AS EXCITED children stream off the bus, it could be any other youth group in Reading.

What is different is that these youngsters are brought together not by age, area, religion or school, but because they carry a responsibility of care for their parents or siblings.

One primary school girl, who lives with her mum and wheelchair-bound sister, said: 'My friends don"t really ask about it because they don"t really care. Most people at my school aren"t really nice to me.

'In the school they used to get someone from the office to come in and tell me if I needed to go home, and I always know it"s something to do with my sister because I just get that feeling. So many things have happened to her. Sometimes she"s stopped breathing.

'When I"m at home I love to be there because my sister is a really nice person and I can just talk to her even if she doesn"t understand me.

'It"s just nice being around her because you feel happy and special.

'But when we go out to the park she can"t go on the swings or the slide. I do feel guilty a lot.

'It"s hard but most of the time I just have to think positive because if you think about all the sad things that happen then it will happen.'

One of her friends was orphaned two years ago when her older brother was 17. She said: 'I was living with him illegally for a while because he wasn"t old enough to look after me.

'He"s had to sacrifice a lot for me. He was doing a course but he had to get a job to pay for everything. My social worker said most people would put me into care but I"m lucky.

'It"s good coming here because at home it"s a bit stressful sometime because if he"s out working I have to look after the home.'

Another girl added: 'It"s hard for people who don"t actually go here to know what it"s like because they don"t understand what it"s like at home.'

The Crossroads weekly group for children as young as six started in 1996 with one and now has 60.

Manager Mary Jacobs said: 'Lots of young carers are very socially isolated, living in social deprivation, on benefits.

'They may have parents with mental health problems, siblings with ADHD. Children will be bathing their parents, going out doing the shopping, some of the older children may be responsible for finance. Some may just be affected by what is going on at home. They can"t have their friends over and a lot get bullied at school.

'At the club we try and give them access to activities they may not be able to come across in their normal day today lives but we try not to raise their expectations above what the families are able to support financially or emotionally. We try to keep them going.'

Children In Need has contributed but the club relies entirely on donations.

www.readingcrossroads.org

www.youngcarers.net

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This article appeared in Reading Chronicle 11 Jun 09

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