Published: Thursday, 9th October, 2008 07:00
A man living with schizophrenia shares his story
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Josh Morgan, 23, of Katesgrove, suddenly developed paranoid schizophrenia when he started university. It isn’t clear what caused or triggered the illness. It is now managed by medication and he is able to lead a normal life.
“I was just 21 when I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It was terrifying.
“Until you are living with it, you do not realise how great the stigma of mental illness and all that is associated with it really is. Most people only come into contact with such issues when mental health related tragedies – usually either suicide or violent attacks by mentally ill individuals – hit the headlines. But mental illness can touch anyone.
“I became ill during freshers’ week at university. I began to suffer auditory and visual hallucinations, in particular hearing voices in my head telling me to kill myself. I attempted suicide, and ended up in hospital. It felt like my world was over.
“I couldn’t talk to anyone – loved ones, fellow patients or staff – and suspected everyone of being involved in some vast conspiracy against me.
“The hospital seemed huge at first, and very frightening. I would chain smoke constantly, talking to no-one, not interacting with the nurses or the other patients. To be fair, the staff had a difficult job merely keeping the patients from harming themselves, but it meant that there was little room for positive work and meeting individual needs. My family or my girlfriend visited me every day, but some people went for months without seeing anyone.
“Because I had fallen ill so suddenly, I was at first diagnosed with having a psychotic episode, and expected to recover quite quickly. This did not materialise, and eventually I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It was only after my second suicide attempt, and a change in medication, that things began to improve. I spent nine months in Prospect Park hospital.
“That was only the first stage of the recovery. Gradually I began to regain my old life. I still have the voices in my head. Most likely, I will always have them. But I can now tune them out. I have worked for more than a year and am just about to begin at university again.
“Recovery takes time, and there will be setbacks. What is most important is patience and communication with other people. The mentally ill are not some danger to society that must be locked away and forgotten about.
“If it is up to the sufferer to keep going and to keep fighting their illness, it is up to society to show understanding and tolerance, and break the stigma that surrounds mental illness.
Help fight the misunderstanding and stigma around mental illness by sharing your story. Names, like Josh’s, can be changed. Call Rose Harland on 0118 963 3156 or email rharland@berksmedia.co.uk
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